Who's in control here anyway?

I like Facebook. I post a lot: I'm an exhibitionistic entertainer who likes to write, and who often doesn't have time for anything longer than a one-sentence status update. But I read a lot, too. I keep up with my friends via Facebook, and frequently find both inspiration and encouragement in their postings.

Most recently, one of my friends had a status update that read: "God is in control, whether I try to control things or not." That resonated with me.

I don't consider myself a control freak - far from it! In my life, chaos is the order of the day, and "by the seat of your pants" is the mode of transportation. But I started thinking. Do I try to control things? Well, sure!

I would like to believe I don't try to control the people in my life whom I love, but perhaps I do. My form of aggression has always been passive. I've been known to display a certain attitude for the purpose of eliciting a particular response. Only it doesn't work. Moping around the kitchen and sighing about my lower back pain has never prompted any of my kids to cheerfully pitch in and help with the dishes. Likewise, acting needy and clingy rarely gets me the love and affection that has been my life's greatest unfulfilled need.

It would seem that the old chestnut applies here, that "the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result". Well, I may be needy, even passive-aggressive, but I'm not mad. So, since the above behaviors aren't working for me, I've tried to find ones that do. My kids are lazy. Unrealistic expectations about their chore-load only results in one frustrated mommy. So I pick one or two things and demand they do them. The rest, I do myself. When I feel like it. After all, they come by their laziness honestly!

As for my emotional need, there is really only one place I can go to get that fulfilled. To my Heavenly Father. It's not fair to pin my earthly happiness on one individual - not to me, and certainly not to the other person. So I go to God. In prayer, and in reading Scripture and devotionals.

And it's a good thing "...that he who began a good work in (me) will carry it through until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil 1:6) Because I keep trying to take back control. And when I do, I'm thankful He puts a friendly reminder on Facebook, via one of my friends.

God is in control. Whether I try to control things or not. And isn't that a comfort?